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Blonde Girl Jokes

By Hipolito Wascher

All dirty blonde jokes below are from the book 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out now for 100s of dirty blonde jokes.

Blonde Painting the House This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said…. FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Someone Should Give Him Head & Shoulders A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, “Someone should give him Head & Shoulders.” To which the blonde replies, “How do you give Shoulders?”

Blonde Year January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels… “duh”… bottles won’t fit in typewriter! March – Got excited! Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months… box said “2-4 years!” April – Trapped on escalator for hours… power went out! May – Tried to make Kool-Aid. 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets! June – Tried to go water skiing. Couldn’t find a lake with a slope. July – Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August – Got locked out of car in rain storm. Car swamped, because top was down. September – The capital of California is “C”… isn’t it? October – Hate M & M’s! They are so hard to peel. November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December – Couldn’t call 911… “duh”… there’s no “eleven” button on the phone! What a year!

The Circle A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she’s smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she’s laughing. He’s really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she’s laughing so hard, she’s about to fall down. He demands, “What’s so funny?” She says, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle!”

I Can’t Breathe Without That A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head. “I need to take that walkman off your head,” says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde. “You can’t! I’ll die!” retorts the blonde. “I can’t cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!” says the beauty specialist getting annoyed. “I said you can’t take it off, or I’ll die!” The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating “breath in, breath out, breath in”.

Read 100s more great blonde jokes from the best joke book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out, you will thank me…

categories: blonde jokes,jokes,humor,fun,entertainment,recreation,society,women,men,girls,teens,blonde,celebrities,hobby

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Article Citation
MLA Style Citation:
Wascher, Hipolito "Blonde Girl Jokes." Blonde Girl Jokes. 25 Jun. 2010. 23 Oct 2014 <>.

APA Style Citation:
Wascher, H (2010, June 25). Blonde Girl Jokes. Retrieved October 23, 2014, from

Chicago Style Citation:
Wascher, Hipolito "Blonde Girl Jokes"

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