8 Secrets Why You Shouldn’t Be Attending an Illness Support Group

By Lisa Copen

When the diagnosis of an illness arrives, it’s very common for everyone, including your doctor, to recommend a support group. Studies have shown that support groups are in fact very beneficial and can impact how well a person copes with his or her illness. However, it’s not uncommon for people with illness to have no desire to attend a support group. Just as with any kind of group, there are some support groups you will connect with well and others that you will not. Don’t conclude all support groups are the same; just because one doesn’t seem like a refreshing place to be, doesn’t mean there aren’t any groups for you.

But is a support group really necessary right now? Whether you are looking for a amyloidosis support group in New York City or an Aspergers support group in Dallas, the real question may be, is this a season in your life when you need the support that a small group offers? Just as changes occur while we living with illness for decades there are seasons in our life when an illness support group may be where we find our very best friends; Other times it may feel like we have no desire, or even need, to attend.

Below are eight tips to help you decide if a support group is something you may not even need right now:

1. You are handling the day-to-day aspects of living with illness with ease. You don’t even have time to analyze how you are coping with your illness because you’re simply too busy living life.

2. You are surrounded by a group of people like friends or family members who are a good influence on you. They understand that you are making a choice to live the best you can despite your daily pain and they can appreciate that.

3. You don’t feel anger, bitterness or resentment toward people who are physically healthy. You are able to have relationships without comparing your abilities (or lack of) to others.

4. You easily carry on conversations with people without ever bringing up the topic of your illness. You don’t believe that your illness is such a fundamental part of who you are that it’s necessary to describe your medical challenges to total strangers.

5. You don’t gaze at others with envy. You feel you have risen above the exasperation of seeing healthy people taking their health for granted.

6. You have discovered that sitting around at a support group and talking about your illness is more emotionally draining than helpful. You are in a place emotionally where you don’t find the need to talk about your illness that often.

7. You feel comfortable researching symptoms or making calls to find the information you need in order to be a good advocate for your health and illness.

8. You have found at least one dear friend who lives with illness. Being able to talk openly with a good friend who has a realistic idea of what you are coping with can be extremely helpful in your daily living skills. You have the chance to vent or contribute ideas with another person who understands the details and “language” of illness.

If you connected with some of the examples above, it’s likely that you don’t really need a support group at this point in your life. But surprise! You could be an exceptional facilitator of an illness support group. All of the signs above make a simple outline for your proposal for starting up a support group.

The most successful support groups are those led by people who have overcome the daily aggravations and animosities that occur during the first years of being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Since you have coped with the initial rollercoaster of emotions and have survived, a support group of people still struggling with them would benefit from your experience and expertise.

If leading a support group does not seem to be part of your calling, that’s a typical reaction! Go enjoy other activities you feel passionate about. And don’t forget that there are amazing people in support groups who will be there when you feel you need them.

Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from “Beyond Casseroles” by Lisa Copen when you subscribe to HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the coordinator of Invisible Illness Awareness
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Topics: Health and Fitness | Comments Off

Tags: attend support group, facilitator support group, find support group, Health and Fitness, illne, lead support group, need support group, proposal for starting up a support group

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