Username:   Remember Me

Uber Articles {Über (ger) adj. above, beyond }

- Above and Beyond a Mere Article Directory


Children Discipline – Dealing With Victim Mentality

By Matt Hellstrom

One of the challenges that children possess is faulty thinking, or “stinking thinking”. In reality, it’s a problem that grownups have, as well. What I’m speaking about is when you think a certain way in order to rationalize a conduct. For instance, if you’re on a diet program and you treat yourself to a large piece of pie due to the fact you’ve been doing such a fine job, that is a thinking error. Rewarding yourself in that way is counter-productive to your desired goals, and is justifying the piece of cake. It’s not logical, and it’s self-defeating.

Children are also masters of thinking errors, which is understandable, because from my personal practical knowledge kids do not begin thinking logically until at some point in their 20s. So up until that time, their thinking is faulty. A great illustration of this is the victim attitude.

It’s not my fault!

That’s the concept of the child with the victim attitude – that nothing is ever their mistake. Usually this stance occurs about when they’re challenged by a problem, or they can’t meet their responsibilities. I’ve got a little shooter that will use every excuse in the book not to do his homework, and it’s by no means his fault. Teacher didn’t make me check my box. I had to go to youth group. You took too long making supper and I ran out of time. Brother took my time on the video game, therefore I got started late. On and on and on. Constantly everybody else’s negligence.

Here’s the difficulty with that. Usually, when a kid won’t fulfill his duties, natural consequences will help him change next time. If he won’t accomplish his homework, he’ll get in trouble by the teacher and possibly embarrassed in front of the class, and next time ideally he’ll perform his homework. When a teenager has the victim attitude, however, he believes it’s not his fault, so he doesn’t need to really feel embarrassed or in trouble. His thinking error is that he didn’t do anything incorrect.

Exactly how do you deal with little victims?

The ideal way to manage this issue is to address them head on. Explain to them “your teacher said you are not getting your homework done. What is going on?” and let them respond. If they blame someone else, don’t argue with them, however say plainly “This is your obligation. If you want help, you can ask for it. You’re not the victim here – you have choices”. Then ask if he has homework, and tell him to go do it and let you know when it’s done. No long lectures, simply get him moving. It really is ok if he seems uneasy, that is right where you would like him!

Matt writes articles about parenting and child raising, including Total Transformation by James Lehman and also reports on James Lehman Scam.

Article kindly provided by

Topics: Parenting | Comments Off

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Article Citation
MLA Style Citation:
Hellstrom, Matt "Children Discipline – Dealing With Victim Mentality." Children Discipline – Dealing With Victim Mentality. 21 Jun. 2010. 29 Oct 2014 <>.

APA Style Citation:
Hellstrom, M (2010, June 21). Children Discipline – Dealing With Victim Mentality. Retrieved October 29, 2014, from

Chicago Style Citation:
Hellstrom, Matt "Children Discipline – Dealing With Victim Mentality"

Reprint Rights

Creative Commons License
This article is subject to a revocable license under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License, which means you may freely reprint it, in its entirety, provided you include the author's resource box along with LIVE VISIBLE links (without "nofollow" tags). We may revoke the license at any time with or without cause. You must also include the credit to

Comments are closed.

Uber Articles and its partner sites cannot be held responsible for either the content nor the originality of any articles. If you believe the article has been stolen from you without your permission, please contact us and we will remove it immediately. If you have a problem with the accuracy or otherwise of the content of an article, please contact the author, not us! Also, please remember that any opinions and ideas presented in any of the articles are those of the author and cannot be taken to represent the opinions of Uber Articles. All articles are provided for informational purposes only. None of them should be relied upon for medical, psychological, financial, legal, or other professional advice. If you need professional advice, see a professional. We cannot be held responsible for any use or misuse you make of the articles, nor can we be held responsible for any claims for earnings, cures, or other results that the article might make.
  • RSS Feed

    RSS for Parenting