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Why It Is Important To Think Before You Speak In Relationships

By Richard Ransome

People experience all sorts of relationships during the span of a lifetime. As children, there will be the one that they have with their parents. Over the course of time they will add others: friends, schoolmates, co-workers, neighbors, lovers, and maybe even spouses. On top of that is their overall relationship with the forces of nature and of the universe. Each and every relationship plays a part in shaping who we are and what we will become. For that reason integrity, trustworthiness, consideration and honesty in all of our actions should become the hallmarks for which we are known.

Just as surely other peoples’ actions have the power to affect us for good or for bad, so too do our actions have the power to affect them. It is part of the interconnected nature of all things in this world of ours. Dropping a pebble into the Atlantic Ocean can eventually cause a tsunami to form in the Pacific.

A good example is the boss who yells at his employee. The employee goes home and yells at his wife, the wife yells at the child, and then the child kicks the dog. The dog has no clue as to why someone that he gave only love to has kicked it, and goes and hides under the furniture. The mother finds the dog, and becomes angry with the child for kicking it. The whole cycle then escalates and repeats itself, with everyone becoming wounded in some way or another.

When Saint James wrote “the human tongue is physically small, but what tremendous effects it can boast of”, he was not speaking in positive terms. He was talking about the damage that uncontrolled speech can cause. If our words have such power to hurt, then doesn’t it make sense to make a practice of thinking before we speak? Once you let the words out, you can’t take them back again. Before saying anything, we should always ask ourselves how it would feel to be on the receiving end of our outburst.

Lies, no matter how small, or what ‘color’ they are, have the power to destroy even what we believe to be solid. They are like weeds that push up through concrete sidewalks, and tree roots that crack the foundations of our houses. Damaged trust can bring the whole structure crashing down on our heads. Once it is gone, it is hard to win it back.

There is a saying in India that goes something like this: if a new piece of cloth is torn, it can be repaired, it can even be turned into something else, but it can never be made whole again.

When your time on this planet of ours is over, how would you liked to be remembered? Not just by your family and close circle of friends, but by everyone that you had dealings with? Would you want them to remember you as someone whose thoughtless words caused pain and elicited distrust? Or as a straight-talker, whose word could always be relied upon?

What we bring into our relationships is what we get out of them. If we bring negativity, we get negativity. How we act towards others affects the quality of their lives. That we may be the cause of other peoples’ suffering is something that should concern us. Just because you did not know the person you dumped coffee all over in the coffee-shop, was it right for you to not even apologize? During those two seconds that it took to happen, you had a min-relationship. So how is it that you can claim that it’s all right to walk on by, because they are a stranger to you? By not making your bad day into anyone else’s, you turn your small corner of the world into far, far better place.

Relationships can be difficult thing and from day to day, we all find ourselves in want of advice, even if we are advice givers ourself. If you want relationship advice, then we know exactly what you want. We have the best advice on the Internet. Http://

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Article Citation
MLA Style Citation:
Ransome, Richard "Why It Is Important To Think Before You Speak In Relationships." Why It Is Important To Think Before You Speak In Relationships. 27 Jun. 2010. 6 Feb 2016 <>.

APA Style Citation:
Ransome, R (2010, June 27). Why It Is Important To Think Before You Speak In Relationships. Retrieved February 6, 2016, from

Chicago Style Citation:
Ransome, Richard "Why It Is Important To Think Before You Speak In Relationships"

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