There seems to be a common misconception surrounding the infidelity of men and women. So often we hear about the infidelity of men, but the infidelity of women seems to be kept a little bit more hush hush. Both men and women are known to cheat on their unsuspecting spouses, which is no secret, but why is there more focus placed on men cheating than on women cheating? Even in the public eye there is much more focus placed on a man’s infidelity than on a woman’s.
Gary Neuman released a research study where he had studied one hundred men from forty-eight married men from within the United States to determine why they cheated on their wives. The research study was quite astonishing in its findings. To begin with when the men met the other woman for the first time not many of them actually had any type of sexual contact with her on their first encounter. In fact, only 6% began their relationship with the other woman with sex, which was surprising. Over 70% of the men stated that it actually took them longer than a month to get the courage up before they actually made the move to cheat on their wives, which proved that sex was not their reason for their infidelity.
In fact, the “other women” are not vivacious and gorgeous, as in the survey, only 12 percent of the men said that their mistress or other women is more attractive than their wives. This is very telling, as it says that looks are not the main consideration for these men; at least not always, or not primarily. Some even said that their wives are better looking than the mistresses.
One reason that seems indirectly connected with why men cheat is association. In Neuman’s survey, around 70 percent of men who cheated know someone or have a close friend who also cheated. This may have been sending the person ideas that cheating is “normal,” since if his friend does it, why can’t he?
Cheating for the man is not for sexual needs nor for a physical need, but more for a need to fit in with the boys it seems in some cases. However, there are other reasons that a man may cheat, which has to do with the man feeling lonely at home or the man’s need to feel as if he is loved for whom he is and not for what he can do.
The research is centered on married life, but it also says something about relationships in general. For one, it reveals how the male mind thinks and how it responds to various situations and decision-making opportunities. People are not inclined to do something wrong if they are not given a reason to do it. Although this is not exactly a good excuse, remember that if a man is not given an opportunity to cheat, he probably won’t.
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