Three Things to Consider When He Meets Your Parents

By Wendy Bridger

Introducing your boyfriend to your family can be exciting and stressful at the same time. Most people place a high value on what their parent’s think of their significant other, and it often influences the ultimate survival of the relationship.

If your potential mother in law disapproves, that might influence your boyfriend’s opinion of you for better or for worse. On the other side, if he is visiting your family and is having difficulty fitting in, you might see it as a bad sign.

What part should each of your families play in helping you choose, “Is he the one?” While their opinions and feedback have merit, you cannot let them make this important decision for you. Take the following three things into consideration when deciding on the fate of your relationship.

1. Pay attention to how he interacts with family.

If you are the guest, now is a great time to get the inside peek of how he will probably treat you in the future. Pay especially close attention to how he treats his mother. Most of us let our hair down around family and show our true selves. If you notice your boyfriend is rude or demeaning to his mom, watch out! However, if you see him respecting her, serving her and including her, you might have keeper. Often, men end up treating their wives similarly to how they treat their mothers.

When he is the one meeting your parents, watch how he fits in with them. If everyone feels comfortable together within a short period of time, this is a good sign. However, if you see him struggling to relate or being evasive, you need to keep this in mind on how it would impact your relationships long term.

2. Take into consideration the feedback you get from family.

Almost every parent will directly or indirectly give you their opinion of your relationship. This can affect your relationship, especially if you look to your parents for approval. Think about the following when considering your family’s approval or disapproval.

First and foremost, recognize that most opinions coming from family will be emotional. This means that not all they think will be logical. Also, because of this, remember the importance of discovering why they feel the way they do about your relationship. If your dad likes him because he likes football too, this may have little merit on determining if he is the right one for you.

3. Recognize that family cannot make this important decision for you.

Your family’s response is a valuable resource in deciding whether to pursue a relationship further. They might point out things you have overlooked, and you get a chance to see your boyfriend in an important setting for the future. However, there are many other things to consider before deciding, “Is he the one?” After all, you are going to be the one living with this guy, not your family, not his family. Ultimately, this decision must be made considering other factors, like compatibility and universal relationship truths.

So, stop stressing and enjoy the family time. Discover more about this aspect of each other’s life, and put to use more accurate tools in deciding if he’s the right one.

Trying to determine is he the one? Our compatibility test “Is He Right For Me?” will assist you in answering that very important question!

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