Tax Reform 999: Herman Cain’s Crazy Tax Plan

By Victor Krumm

Republicans have long attacked Keynesian economics and now, at last, reputedly have their own version: Cainsian economics.

Upon enactment, the world’s biggest economy would be steered by the type of America tax that is music to the ears of many rank and file Republicans based on simplicity itself.

If Herman Cain becomes President, here is how he’d want the tax code to look:

9% corporate taxes

9% income taxes

9% nationwide sales tax

However, as the self-styled Sage of Tax Law, Representative Michelle Bachmann, cleverly pointed out: “…the Devil’s in the details” and turned upside down, the number would be 666.

The Mark of the Beast.

The Anti-Christ.

I must admit that my head is spinning and I’ve broken a cold sweat.

We all know that Mrs. Bachmann is standing for President because, as she has proudly proclaimed, she prayed for His guidance and He gave her “the sense” it was her purpose in life.

Are we to assume from that divinely inspired calling that maybe God himself once more spake, something like “Beware the Sign of the Beast” and she got “the sense” He wanted her to turn 999 upside down so we could identify the Animal?

Heavens to Murgatroyd!

Citizen Cain appears to be such a likeable fellow so maybe, of course, it wasn’t really the Lord Representative Bachmann heard, just more voices inside her head.

I grew up where there were places for people who heard voices.

Today, that seems to be Congress.

But, back to Mr. Cain who seems to be taking the Republican electorate by storm.

Great grin, happy warrior of the Far Right.

Better yet, someone with a plan to make America great again.

999

Yea for Herman and the birth of Cainsian Economics!

Now, this is tax reform we can all believe in because the Man with the Great Big Smile promises us it is “revenue neutral.”

That is comforting.

Still, something is nagging at me.

I can’t exactly put my finger on it.

Maybe it has something to do with a reality check.

You see, for 80% of US citizens, their federal taxes will rocket like fireworks on the 4th of July.

Of course, as it is income neutral, there needs to be an offset to reach that condition, so his Yin and Yang of neutrality is made up by some tax savings for neediest of Americans: the top 20% of Americans. You know, those poor misunderstood folks besieged by class warfare.

They will receive tax savings equal to the tax increases for the 80% of Americans who don’t work as hard as they do, are not as smart as them, and who whine too much.

Hmmm.

Maybe Bachmann’s onto something.

666.

Not since the Great Depression have Americans faced as challenging a political test as they do now. Can they recover or is the American Century behind us?Has American political thought been reduced to the craziness of somebody hearing voices or a man who proudly proclaims his 999 crazy ideas?

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