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How To Finally Love Yourself

By Francis Mayer

Self love often is looked upon as a form of narcissism or self-centered behavior. However, there is a big difference between self love and being self centered. Self love can provide the first steps toward a meaningful, well-balanced life. Most people are fairly judgmental of themselves, and this can interfere with success and happiness. Here are some pointers on how to finally love yourself.


You have an “inner dialogue” going on all the time. For many people, this is the voice of a dominant parent or other authority figure. It becomes your own voice that constantly criticizes you. Listen to that voice. Is it negative? Now, how would it be if you spoke to someone else in that tone of voice? What would it do to your interpersonal relationships if you were that critical of other people?

The truth is, you probably ARE that critical of others. If you have problems with interpersonal relationships, listen for your own inner voices, and see how they talk to you. That very well could be how you treat others, as well. Then, work developing an inner dialogue that is only kind and positive. Just as you would praise a small child for focusing and achieving a small victory, do the same with yourself.

For example, as you get dressed for work in the morning, make sure to look at your reflection and praise yourself, rather than focusing on everything wrong with you. For each negative comment that pops into your mind, choose a positive one to take its place. If you have recently gained weight, and hate the way your clothes fit, instead of dwelling on that, focus on how great your eyes look when you wear that color blouse or tie.


Have you ever made a mistake? Of course you have. Everybody has made mistakes. But, without the ability to forgive yourself and others, you carry the weight of past failures with you every step of your way. When you elect to forgive yourself for past failures and mistakes, you set yourself free to succeed. In fact, clinging to past failures is a good way to maintain the status-quo without having to take chances with success. Forgive yourself, move on, grow, and thrive, and you may even find that you are able to repair some of the past damages you have created.


Many times, we cut ourselves down and gear ourselves toward failure simply because we don’t think we deserve any better. Deciding that you DO deserve better is a major step forward. There used to be a saying that made it clear: “God don’t make no junk.” Whether you believe in God or not, it is true that you are not “junk”. Rebuilding yourself will be a long and painful process, but when you decide you’re worth it, it will be a joyous effort.

Once you decide to travel the journey of self love, you begin to restore your own emotional and mental health. Stay true to the journey – you deserve the benefits.

Author, entrepreneur, entertainer, certified life-coach, and motivational speaker shanel coopersykes shares her expertise on modern-day femininity across today’s mainstream media outlets.

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Article Citation
MLA Style Citation:
Mayer, Francis "How To Finally Love Yourself." How To Finally Love Yourself. 15 Apr. 2014. 27 Jul 2014 <>.

APA Style Citation:
Mayer, F (2014, April 15). How To Finally Love Yourself. Retrieved July 27, 2014, from

Chicago Style Citation:
Mayer, Francis "How To Finally Love Yourself"

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